Damn! That shit is whack!

Me: Man. That movie was nuts.
Christa: It really was. But in a good way, I think.
Me: Yeah. For sure.
Christa: Are you gonna blog it?
Me: I so am.


I’m not going to get into too much detail about plot or anything, mainly because the movie itself isn’t really about events or actions.

I tend to hate sickeningly plot-driven, CGI films about saving the planet from aliens/global warming/giant monkeys.

I like films about people.

This film was about people.

The film is pretty much just about these two people who are living a life they never wanted to lead, and they can’t deal with it. It’s about love and the nature of how people relate.

Sam Mendes (who is actually married to Kate – little trivia for you there) seems to be into films about the evils of suburbia (see: American Beauty), lucky for us both, so am I.

Christine and I have dissected this movie to pieces now. Christine, Liz and I saw this together and I kid you not, there was one scene where we all watched with our hands over our eyes, scared of what was going to happen. This movie has no scary monsters, no bad guys ...it’s just this couple and their life on this street called Revolutionary Road.

I really like Kate and Leo (not a huge Titanic fan though, although I believe Ryan Ross is, so maybe I should re-evaluate) and their performances in this really made the film. I mean, the costumes were great, supporting cast flawless, the period setting was pulled off seamlessly – but their performances were incredible. I’m not normally a “that performance carried the film” person, I like plot and good writing...but damn. Kate and Leo. You are fine pretenders.

I implore you, go see this film. It’s MIGHTY INTENSE. There was a time that it was so intense, Christine and I were sure that one of them was just going to snap and kill the other. We thought she might have poisoned his breakfast. Or he was going to whip out a gun and go nuts.

The conflict was just damn good dudes. At one point I turned to Christine and said “This is so much scarier than The Exorcist” and it was! It was heartbreaking. I really enjoyed it.

It was heartbreaking. I really enjoyed it. – Wow. That was kinda emo.
This is definitely a Good Movie. Definitely had emotional resonance.
I’m giving it 8 ½ out of 10 Sunsilk Strong Hold Create Paste jars.

- Grace, really feels like sticky date pudding and has a new found respect for Justin Timberlake.

p.s. It’s my dick in a box!

p.p.s. There isn’t enough Russell Brand in this post. His new book arrived. It has pretty pictures...and some prettier words.

Listening to: She's a Slut Episode 3 - Chris Lilley

Silence has got to be broken.

I hear what y'all are asking now: "What on Earth does the first 'M' is 'SPAMM' stand for. Well, friends it stands for music and that is what I am here to talk about right now!


Some time last week I borrowed five CD's from my local library. This is something I highly recommend doing. What is a library you ask? It is a glorious place where you, yes you, can take books, CD's and movies and not pay a dime for them. Not a measly dime! The catch: You have to eventually bring these things back; but by this time you have no use for them anyway and all they do is create clutter. So the library takes them off your hands, effectively cleaning your house for you! And you don't pay a dime. Not a measly dime! Too good to be true? No!


I admittedly only pick up CD's which I think I have nice cases and one of those was: Art of Fighting - Runaways.

Art of Fighting is an Australian band from Melbourne and they’ve been around for about 15 years. It’s made up of Ollie Browne on guitar, Peggy Frew on bass and drummer, Cameron Grant. Apparently Ollie and Peggy used to be an item but they broke up I think because Peggy just couldn’t handle being named ‘Peggy Browne-Frew’ if they ever got married. Ollie’s very into hyphenated names or something. But anyway, goodonem for sucking it up and staying together band wise.

'Runaways' is their most recent album and I would describe their sound as kind of like ‘Death Cab for Cutie’ but a bit rustier if you know what I mean. They’re a bit like some of the more mellow ‘Hush Sound’ stuff also. Well whatever they sound like, I like them. They’re very nice to listen to before bed time and that’s just what I’ve been doing the past few nights. Very pleasant indeed.

They’re probably a bit hard to find but worth a search. I give this album 8½ out of 10 wombat snouts and am off to listen to more.

- Ardy

ps. I like my men super rich... and almost dead.

Listening to: I want to know what Love is - Foreigner

So I violated Section 34 Double D?

So, it’s 11 o’clock and I just finished watching “Inside Man” which was on TV. Now, I didn’t have high hopes for this movie; but it was that or the tennis, so I settled for the movie.

So the movie starts with Clive Owen telling us how he executed the perrrfect bank robbery ‘just because he could’. What a cool dude right? I know. So cool. So then we see how he robs the bank, which really was the perrrfect bank robbery, and then we see him get away with it! And yes, I have, to a degree, spoiled the ending for you all, but you knew it was going to happen, and you should still see it happen.

Now, there were a few parts of the film that didn’t really sit with me. I did find myself yelling at the television “You twat! He was right there! Why didn’t you just shoot him in the feet or something? He’s out there getting pizza!” But otherwise, good movie. Entertaining. Oh and the end. By the end, you’re all “Dude! You are so smart! How are you so smart!?”

As far as rating categorization goes - and Grace has developed a flawless system by the way – I would have to place “Inside Man” In the Good Movies pot but toward the Eh it was Alright pot. Yes it was good, but I will probably forget I’d ever seen it by June.

Summing up I would give “Inside Man” 7 out of 10 longer lasting sex adverts.

- Ardy, doesn’t have anything witty or confusing to say.

ps Have you ever tried focaccia chips?

Listening to Temporary One – Fleetwood Mac

Dinosaurs eat man. Woman inherits the earth.

Even though the first Jurassic Park was released about sixteen years ago, I thought I'd blog a review on the off-chance that there's anybody out there who hasn't seen it yet. (If so – where have you been? Seriously.) Also because I can talk about this movie ‘til the cows come home.


Basic gist of the film -


Rich old man decides to create a theme park full of genetically engineered dinosaurs. After a few accidents on site, lawyers start to get iffy about the safety of the park, so rich old man brings a palaeontologist, a palaeobotanist, a mathematician, a lawyer and his two grandkids to the park for the weekend to get some positive feedback to please the investors. Lots of ‘ooh-ing’ and ‘aah-ing’ over a Brachiosaurus ensues, then it’s all downhill from there.


At its heart this movie fits pretty much entirely into the action genre (with a little bit of fancy science thrown in), so it’s not exactly deep and meaningful or going to change your perspective on life or whatever. It’s just pure entertainment with a few background messages, lots of people getting eaten, and a crapload of impressive CGI.


Seriously, this movie kicks ass for 90s computer animation. Apart from the close-up shots of the Brachiosaurus in the beginning which are a bit dodgy, everything else is pretty acceptable even by today’s high standards.


That said, being an action film which just wants to impress you with its HOLYCRAP!DINOSAURS, it has to be forgiven for being a little bit weak in other areas. Nothing that detracts terribly from enjoying the movie as a whole, but just little things that might make you go – ehhh, a bit silly. If you don’t look into it too much, it’s a lot more fun to watch.


In summation, just watch it. Seriously, I love this movie a great deal, to the extent that I once watched it every day for about two weeks. Of course, I grew up watching this film, I love dinosaurs and I have a pretty weak attention span, so, there’s my excuses.


Ratings-wise, going by Grace’s Ingenious System, I’d have to place it in the Good Movies catergory (bordering on Genius, but only due to personal bias), because it’s just fun and entertaining overall. Generally though, if I can sit through a movie more than once and still enjoy it, I’m usually satisfied. I sound easy, but that’s actually a surprisingly limited number of films.


Another good reason to watch it: Ever thought it would be effing sweet if dinosaurs were brought back to life to live amongst us? Sometimes I do too. Then I watch this movie.


9 ½ out of 10 anatomically-incorrect Velociraptors. Points deducted for the dodgy Brachiosaurus in the beginning. Could’ve tried harder.


- Christa, loves movies with no depth as long as they have dinosaurs in them.

ps When I was young, I never needed anyone, and making love was just for fun. Those days are gone.


Listening to: You Spin Me Round (Like A Record) – Dead Or Alive

Is that when he is or isn't whacking it to The Sims?

The second ‘M’ in ‘SPAMM’ stands for ‘Movies’, so here I am blogging about movies.

Role Models, in particular.

Eh. It wasn’t anything special.

It had its moments. McLovin (who hereto forth known only as and always as, McLovin) was adorable as usual, second only to Michael Cera for cute dorkiness.

And dudes - am I the only one who thinks that LAIRE is the GREATEST thing EVER. It must exist and I must join.

LAIRE was pretty much the only good part, actually.

Seann (two ‘n’s? When did this happen?) William Scott has only ever been in one good movie (Dude, Where’s My Car?....maybe the first American Pie – it is a classic) , so I didn’t expect much. But Paul Rudd was “Kunu”! “You sound like you’re from Londaan!”. Genius.

Although, he really did get hotter while dressed up as Paul Stanley. Eyeliner, his long black hair blowing in the wind...ohhh yeah.

It was like a Judd Apatow film, but without the hilarity of a Judd Apatow film (or without Russell Brand. Or both).

Since this is the first review, I am going to explain the way I categorise films. I see a lot of movies, and this system has never let me down.

Crap movies/The worst of all– this is the most disappointing of movies. This normally happens when you think it’s going to be good and then it just FAILS in an epic fashion. I have been known to mope for weeks after this. This is caused by the harsh reality that some really bad films, don’t realise they are really bad.

e.g. Baz Luhrmann’s Australia – Oh, Baz. You’ve never let me down before. But this was truly terrible.
e.g. Cameron Crowe’s Elizabethtown - HOW COULD YOU!? It wasn’t that bad. Any other director, it would have been fine. But I expect more from you, Mr Crowe.
e.g. The Exorcist (1973). Not scary. All that stupid green goo. So not the scariest movie of all time. Mildly gross, occasionally disturbing...but on the whole. Tame. Hype is a films worst enemy or greatest asset.

Movies that just suck – They were always going to be bad. And yep. They really were.

e.g. All American Pie sequels – The first one said it all, and it said it perfectly fine. Eugene Levy’s eyebrows cannot pull of 4 sequels. This also includes all Bring It On sequels.

Eh. It was alright – It’s nothing special. Doesn’t really do anything for me. It had some good aspects, some bad. It’s on the line.

Good movies - I’m a pretty harsh critic, but some movies are pretty damn good. I’m really not asking a lot, but so few manage it.

e.g. The History Boys. Bring It On. Stardust. Girl, Interrupted. Hot Fuzz. Shakespeare In Love. Teen Wolf. Star Wars 1,2 and 3.

Also. Most classic British romantic comedies – Notting Hill. (‘Whoopsadaisies!’ Hugh Grant) About A Boy (troubled, but oh so rock star Hugh Grant). Bridget Jones’ Diary 1, and surprisingly, 2 (Charming and impish Hugh Grant) – I’m missing one. It comes later.

Genius movies – There are about 8 of these in existence. These are the movies that I have to pick between when people ask my favourite. These movies have it all. They have humour, they have intense drama. They are real, authentic and have decent acting and directing. They have EMOTIONAL RESONANCE.

These include, but are not limited to – Love, Actually (Sexy Prime Minister Hugh Grant). Donnie Darko. Garden State. Juno (and I will defend it with my last breath). Almost Famous. Little Miss Sunshine.

And Fight Club. Don’t even try and argue with me on that.

Crap that just rocks – These are movies that for all intents and purposes, SUCK. Really bad. They have bad acting, no storyline. But somehow, they can be just as entertaining as movies that actually rock. Normally because of the huge amounts of lulz to be had.

e.g. Save The Last Dance 2. A sequel to an already really crappy rocking movie with the line “You all tight and shit?” in it.
e.g.Spiderman 3. 'Nuff said.

The last category is one close to my heart. That is:

All movies that have Russell Brand in them – this is simply because movie watching is subjective, and when it comes to Russell Brand – I am REALLY biased. He is pefection, and therefore everything he touches becomes perfect. Yes, even Penelope.



So where does Role Models fit in? It’s a “Eh. It was alright” movie. Because that’s just how I felt walking out of cinema 3.


I’m giving it 4 out of 10 crispy and delicious muffin tops.





Also. I only speak for myself. My fellow bloggers love Titanic, whereas I just wanted them to die already. I do like Leo and Kate though. Must see Revolutionary Road.



- Grace (my dad tells me it's bad to put your ears in front of your shoulders)


p.s. I just raced my cats.

Listening to: Lovin' Touchin' Squeezin' - Journey

first post (the post that hurts the most)

This blog would've been up and running two hours ago, if this 'crappypunk_chic' hadn't stolen our name four years ago to make this:



(yeah, it took us two hours to go from spamm.blogspot to spamm-spamm.blogspot - and it wasn't even our idea. Blogspot suggested it.)

And to you 'crappypunk_chic', just know that from now on our blog will be know as 'SPAMM' (by us and our soon to be army of followers) and your blog will be known as 'that SPAMM'. I'll use an analogy involving 'SPAM' - as in ham in a can - to explain just how to intone the italicised 'that'.

Al: Jeff, seriously, throw that darn 'SPAM' out.
Jeff: To which 'SPAM' are you referring, Al?
Al: I mean the can of 'SPAM' that expired last year. You know, the one you half opened last week and left on the kitchen bench.
Jeff: Oh, Christ, that 'SPAM'. Yeah, I'll throw it out. Sorry, man.


Watch this space. Seriously, watch it. We're off to the pictures, expect reviews.

p.s - I just ate a grape and I jizzed in my pants.

Listening to: The Final Countdown - Europe